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OH MY GOD THIS ONE ANNOYS ME VERILY. Okay, so, do you have any younger siblings or sapient pets that have a VERY LOOSE GRASP ON THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE? I actually have a couple of those (guess which) and while they are very good as a source of content for my RANDOM ENGLISH RANTs, their vehement denial that their English is incorrect makes me want to take up bulldozing and drop a mastodon on their rooms. Here is their latest English horror that makes me cry:

**Starla**: None of your friends have email?
**Younger Sibling Or Sapient Pet**: All of my friends don't believe in Internet.
*** Starla** starts screaming and shooting

While that is a bit exaggerated, my point is sort of clear. While combining "all" and a negative verb like "don't" may actually be grammatically correct as I cannot currently find anything on it, IT SOUNDS QUITE HORRIBLE. JUST SAY NONE. JUST SAY NONE. JUST LIKE YOU WOULD SAY NO TO DRUGS. JUST SAY NONE. IT'S A FEWER NUMBER OF WORDS! ISN'T THAT BETTER OR SOMETHING? JUST SAY NONE. SAY IT NOW.

Here are some practice questions to test your new knowledge. If the sentence is incorrect, correct it, otherwise, write "Correct."

  1. All of my friends hate you.
  2. None of those potatoes have been washed recently.
  3. Coach Z looks fat in that photo.
  4. All of those tapes must give us dogs.

Okay, I couldn't bring myself to type THE INCORRECTION, regardless of the fact that I did earlier in that semi-fabricated conversation I had with my younger sibling or sapient pet. Anyway, I hope that by now, I've successfully established myself as a prescriptivist. Thank you for your time.

Hatkirby on July 4th, 2010 at 12:34:11pm
👍 0 👎


You have done that quite successfully :P. Especially as the sentences aren't even "incorrect" by most standards, because they make sense :P. But yes, people who use strange sentence structures irritate me.

tamasys on July 8th, 2010 at 12:23:25am

Sense-make these fine-just. You silly-be. :P

Bluemonkey on July 8th, 2010 at 4:55:06am

Good sentence structure I use always, yes?

Smiley on July 9th, 2010 at 1:58:41am

Next Random English Rant: "It's See-ya, you fools!" :P

Hatkirby on July 9th, 2010 at 2:15:10am

Starla this post is grammatically incorrect.You said " it's a fewer number of words" when u should have said "it's a lower number of words" or " it's fewer words". I WIN!

Kirat on July 22nd, 2010 at 2:13:56pm
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