Blog posts tagged "aprilfools"

Hello, everyone! It is I, your non-humble new leader, Rebecca Black! I was just on my way to Space Costco when I spotted a strange, four-shaped island in the middle of the Pacific that hadn't yet fallen to my Hypnotic Powers Of Tween Decisions Related To Which Seat I Should Take In A Vehicle Driven By A Likely Evictable Xenophobe Which Continues To Prove That I Should Be Buckled Up Because I Could Die So Much More Easily And No One Wants That, Amrite? (or HPOTDRTWSISTIAVDBALEXWCTPTISBBUBICDSMMEANOWTA, for short). I landed my RebeccaShip (made from the enslaved remains of Thursday and Sunday) and contacted the local Rebecca Black Fan (every country needs to have one!). Luckily, the silly human was also the ruler of the island and she handed over the power to me after only 45 autographs.

There have been some changes made around here recently, and I'm sure you'll all agree that they're for the better. First of all, I gave this hideous website quite a facelift, funrite?


I've also instituted a few new FRIDAY!~!!!!!11!!rules that take effect immediately.

  1. No Monday. No exceptions. Our death squads are working on making this impossible.
  3. From now on, whenever you're going to post something on the Fridaym, you must prefix your text with the following disclaimer:

Rebecca Black Is The One. She Sings Good Songs And Has Nice Hair. Let Us All Dance Circles Around A Gyroscope While Our Death Squads Eviscerate The Monday. Afun. 4. Sparly, my pet Friday, must be fed daily. He likes to eat Apple products. I expect the people of Four Island to pitch together to pay for Sparly's iFood. 5. All quotes have been changed to reflect that fact that I am the only person whose autotuned voice is worth listening to. For instance:

Rebecca Black: I'm afraid Drifty will laugh at me if Friday starts appearing on my Rebecca Black: lol Rebecca Black: Hey—the version I bought doesn't have the rapper in it! Rebecca Black: That actually made the song better! Rebecca Black: did you just say... bought? Rebecca Black: DON'T JUDGE ME Rebecca Black: lols Rebecca Black: lol

Quote #440: Friday

  1. Everyone who isn't, must, and also should always, because without doing, it's just as not much fun. And the fun is the most important part.
  2. All cars must have a front and back seat. Possibly even a side seat. No exceptions. On an unrelated note, I've placed resident Tamesis Gethin under double-FRIDAY!!@11~11-house arrest.
  3. Anyone caught listening to anything other than their required 24-Friday listens-a-day will be made into iFood for Sparly.
  4. There must be at least three pedophiliac rappers in every city of Four Island. This will surely increase the FUN to near FUN FUN levels.

I hope everyone enjoys living under my new Friocracy! These rules will most definitely increase the number of four-seater cars around and science has shown that more four-seater cars means more people driving four-seater cars and more people to pass four-seater cars down to their underage, possibly xenophobic kids. Which means more making out in back seats. And more head-on collisions in front seats. This place is going to be awesome. Rebecca Out!


Hatkirby on April 1st, 2011 at 8:15:32pm
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