toothpastecanyon: news articles in my feed that might be written by a demon toothpastecanyon: > About Your Skin toothpastecanyon: > What you should know about your body's biggest organ. hatkirby: [me two and a half years later's response] well that might be YOUR biggest organ but mine is, well, azhdrake: Mine's my small intestines what the fuck is going on with your skin that could make it bigger then the small intestines? hatkirby: [confused about the concept that smaller organs are actually bigger] yeah well my penis is so small you can't even see it anymore
toothpastecanyon: Star I just had the most inception dream about how I had a crazy dream and needed to text you about it but you kept being like I don’t wanna hear it!! I don’t!!! hatkirby: Tooth I don't want to hear about this
park3r2_: Mirror Temple time! Where... is area D? hatkirby: Area deez nuts park3r2_: Haha. I'm looking for it! hatkirby: Uhhh. Thanks? park3r2_: WAIT hatkirby: Don't worry, you won't find them. park3r2_: That's not what I meant!
exempt_medic: I'm so over Fukushima exempt_medic: *Bullshit 😦 exempt_medic: Thanks phone, that helpd exempt_medic: PHONE hatkirby: ok i was really trying to figure out what this meant lol exempt_medic: I just remembered what Fukishima is, and WOW exempt_medic: PHONE HOW TAF exempt_medic: Fukishima ??? How??? rever: Give hatkirby his phone back hatkirby: not enough cock typos exempt_medic: I Thought that said "types" hatkirby: Exempt your phone doesn't have enough types of cock on it which means it can't be mine hatkirby: i'm not a furry i think there would only be one type of cock on my phone exempt_medic: It has a lot... exempt_medic: Gotta make a Type Chart like in Pokemon exempt_medic: Cock Paper Scissors energy rever: yeouch hatkirby: most are super effective against me rever: oh truuu rever: Cock Paper BigFuckingPole exempt_medic: Don't worry, Cock beats Scissors and loses to Paper exempt_medic: And ties with other cocks hatkirby: why does cock beat scissors rever: 📝 exempt_medic: Because rock beats scissors hatkirby: scissors fucks cock up exempt_medic: Why does paper beat rock 🤷 hatkirby: and cock cums on paper so cock wins that one rever: they got chop chop rever: because it surrounds it hatkirby: this made perfect sense to me in my head exempt_medic: It does rever: it made sense in mine too dw exempt_medic: I can't even be mad exempt_medic: Thanks for the lick me up exempt_medic: ... ahhhhhhhhhh hatkirby: Uh huh rever: FOR THE WHAT NOW????
hatkirby: I dunno who came up with the concept of having to get out of bed in the morning but I'm gonna hunt that fucker down hatkirby: I'm gonna search every nook, and you BETTER BELIEVE I'll search every cranny hatkirby: And then one day, when I'm old and wizened, I'll find him in this cave, hidden past human recognition hatkirby: He'll smile warmly and invite me to have some tea with him, partially bc he knows that I'm old enough now to understand why the morning has to be the way it is, and partially bc caffeine helps you get your day started hatkirby: We have a talk, about nothing but also about everything hatkirby: We also fool around a little, like in a gay way, like in the way gay men might fool around, gayly hatkirby: Then when it's time to go I use my demon powers to become young again and I shoot massive lasers out of my eyes and obliterate his morning loving ass out of existence, exploding half the countryside in the process