Blog posts tagged "jailbreak"

iOS 4.2.1 (not iOS 4.2--that was never released because it had quite a few holes in it) for iPhone, iPod touch and iPad was released today! This brings AirPrint and AirPlay to all devices as well as multitasking and folders to the iPad! While this certainly is a great upgrade (especially if you have a Mac and have used the AirPrint Hactivator which will allow you to AirPrint to any printer that is shared by the hactivated Mac (otherwise you're restricted to a very limited number of HP printers)), we warn you:


Yes, while you may have a pwned-for-life device, if you want an untethered jailbreak, you're going to have to wait a bit. However cool AirPrint is going to be, I don't think it's worth giving up your jailbreak for any period of time. This may be different for the iPad--multitasking is a pretty big feature and it may possibly be worth it to some people to give up their jailbreak for a while so that they can enjoy these iOS 4 features, but if I had an iPad myself, I'd just install Backgrounder and get on with it. Don't upgrade if you want to keep your jailbreak. Just wait, and hopefully the awesome people behind the jailbreaking scene wil release a new tool or a new version of a tool that can jailbreak iOS 4.2.1 in short time.

Hatkirby on November 22nd, 2010 at 5:27:32pm
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Thumbnail2It's time, folks! If you're jailbroken, backup your SHSH blobs! If you're not jailbroken, but want to be, backup your SHSH blobs! Don't know what they are or why you should do it? Well, to make a long story short, since the new bootrom version of the iPhone 3GS, iOS updates have been very controlled. Apple has set it up so that, if they are not currently offering SHSH blobs on their website for the pair of your iDevice and a specific iOS version, you are unable to load that version onto your iDevice (this obviously doesn't apply if the software is already installed). So, ever since then, jailbreakers have had a way of getting around this by backing up the SHSH blobs for their iDevice and iOS version so that if they ever need to downgrade to a specific version of iOS, they can. Note: you can only downgrade if you already have the SHSH blobs for that iOS version, and you can only backup your SHSH blobs while Apple still offers them. So, yeah. If you don't know how to backup your SHSH blobs, perform a Google search on a program called "TinyUmbrella".

Anyway, why am I saying this? Two reasons: first, it's November now, so, if we can believe Steve Jobs, iOS 4.2 should be coming out this month. If you upgrade to iOS 4.2 and are unhappy with your inability to jailbreak, if you have your iOS 4.1 SHSH blobs, you can always just downgrade. Second, there has been some exciting jailbreak news even before iOS 4.2 is out:

Anyone with blobs for 4.1 or earlier should be able to get an untethered 4.2 jailbreak; this is not done but is being actively worked on.


It seems that this may work by pwning an iOS 4.1 IPSW and somehow using that with iOS 4.2; I don't quite know. :P Note, it may not be out very soon because:

However, a 4.2 jailbreak might be delayed because Cydia doesn't work on 4.2 yet. Not sure how close @chpwn is to finishing his fixes.


Regardless, we can expect an untethered jailbreak for iOS 4.2 and until then, I'll be staying on iOS 4.1.

Finally, I think we can expect iOS 4.2 pretty soon because, not only is the iOS 4.2 GM release already out for developers, Apple has responded to the current problem with iOS 4.1 and daylight savings time. They have posted a support document to their website saying that you will need to set your alarms to repeat "Never" until November 7th. Whether the date specified is the release date of iOS 4.2 or it's just specified because that's when daylight savings time starts is unknown.

Hatkirby on November 4th, 2010 at 12:30:13pm
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Thumbnail2While yesterday was quite a bad day, my luck today has turned for the better! For one, I'm not angry at geohot anymore. Nope, when I finally got home to my Windows laptop today, I plugged my iPhone 4 in, synced it and ran limera1n. And, you know what? It didn't work. :( However, I tried again, this time closing iTunes before jailbreak and guess what! It worked! :D

Once again, I kind of jumped around in excitement, screaming "OMG YAY JAILBREAK OMG SCROBBL I LOVE YOU" until people started staring and I realized that those "people" were the voices inside my head....

Anyway, I'm very happy to now be jailbroken because there are some really awesome things that you can do with a jailbroken iDevice, some I had used before, some that I only tried out today:

  • Scrobbl - This may be the biggest reason that I jailbreak and that's because it's just so awesome. Without a jailbreak, to scrobble songs to, you have to sync your iDevice with iTunes and use the iPod scrobbler, which, as we've seen, doesn't work too well with iOS devices. I mean, seriously, last week, I scrobbled my iPhone and found that while a whole ton of songs got scrobbled, it somehow completely forgot to note that I had listened to the album Fantasies by Metric three whole times. It often gets things wrong and requires you to sync to scrobble, and is just so annoying. With Scrobbl, songs are scrobble AS YOU PLAY THEM. You can set it to only scrobble via WiFi and to ignore podcasts (which was another problem I had with the official scrobbler--who cares about the podcasts? I don't want to scrobble them!) and it's just fantabulous. One of my favorite jailbreak apps.
  • Backgrounder + MultiFl0w - Backgrounder is an amazing app that brings true multitasking to iDevices. Not iOS 4's fake multitasking (which, however, is in some cases more apt for the job because developers can specify actions upon task switching, like pausing your game), but true multitasking that can be enabled/disabled for certain apps at certain times. I really love this because it allows me to background Palringo and go watch a video and I'll know if someone's trying to talk to me because I'll hear a noise and then I'll go check Palringo and omg! Someone's talking to me! :P MultiFl0w is a replacement for iOS 4's task switcher and it's really quite pretty--it shows up to 9 open apps using an ExposΓ©-like display. Note, MultiFl0w does cost $4.99. Backgrounder is free.


  • SBSettings - Short for SpringBoard Settings, (yes, that's what those SBs everywhere stand for), SBSettings is quite a useful tool for iDevice users. It allows you to swipe across the status bar (gesture customizable) from any app and have a screen appear with options and settings in it. The best part is the toggles: you can have a bunch of toggles sitting up in your SBSettings tray and when you want to do something like turn off Cell Data or turn on Bluetooth, you simply have to swipe across the top and tap the toggle. You can also download additional toggles: I downloaded one called Rotation Inhibitor which allows you to toggle whether or not the current app will rotate automatically--and yes, it actually allows you to lock rotation in landscape mode. Horray. You can also theme SBSettings--in the picture on the left, I'm using a theme called "Bold Retina" (there is a variant that works on non-Retina displays). Finally, for you iPod touch users who are want to see how much battery life you have left in percent (because this feature is built-in on iPhones), you can enable this under "System Options" in SBSettings.
  • Infiniboard (and Infinifolders!) - Infiniboard, Infinifolders (and Infinidock) are a series of awesome, SpringBoard-enhancing tweaks by chpwn. Infiniboard and Infinifolders are great for organization. With Infiniboard, you can put as many apps as you want on one SpringBoard page and just scroll through them vertically. Infinifolders is very similar: it allows you to overcome the 12-app limit on iOS 4 folders and lets you scroll through folders vertically. They're both pretty great: Infinifolders has the advantage of having being a named group, but Infiniboard has the advantage of actually working on iOS 4.1. Currently, Infinifolders just blanks the screen if you open a folder with more than 12 apps in it. Ouch. These apps do cost money, but they're pretty useful.


  • LockInfo - I am absolutely in love with this. I didn't even know about it until I noticed that TimTam tweeted using it. I looked into it and it's a whole lot more amazing than it appears! First off, the basics: the Apple iPhone mysteriously lacks the ability to show the owner any useful information besides the time and any notifications that have popped up (such as SMSes) on the lockscreen. Users have to unlock the phone to see stuff. It's confused me before; I can never remember if I just received an email or not. LockInfo allows you to display information on newly received email, upcoming calendar events, missed calls, SMSes... But it's more awesome than just that: there are plugins available for LockInfo that lets you see more information on your lockscreen; Twitter, for instance. Yes, awesomeness. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised to see that there was a plugin for Things, the to-do app I use. Splendid! But by far the best part of LockInfo is the InfoShield (pictured on right). While your iDevice is unlocked, simply swipe down from the status bar and the InfoShield will appear, containing all of the information that LockInfo shows on the lockscreen. It's like the notifications tray on Android phones. Very awesome. :D This app does cost money, though, but it's so totally worth it.

Some other awesome apps you should try if you're jailbroken are MultiIconMover (a convenient tweak that allows you to move multiple icons at once (note: does not work with folders)) and WinterBoard (allows you to theme your SpringBoard and lockscreen. Some would advertise this app more prominently, but I don't really use it that much).

Wow, I didn't really expect to be reviewing all of my favorite jailbreak apps when I started this post, but at that point, I didn't even have LockInfo yet and I'm in love with it, so, :P. Anyway, the other reason why Sunday Is Funday is the fact that Ubuntu 10.10 came out today! The upgrade itself was pretty easy (easier than 10.04--nothing went wrong!) and nothing seems to be going horribly so far. I'll write a full post about 10.10 when I've used it for a bit and discovered any horrific problems that need to be ranted about (and besides, this post is plenty long already :P), but let me just say now: I really love the new Ubuntu Font. It's just so fantastic and pretty. <3 Ubuntu Font.

Hatkirby on October 10th, 2010 at 6:59:44pm
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If you haven't been paying attention to the updates on my previous post, well, strange stuff has been happening in the world of iPhone jailbreak. A long-dead hacker named geohot famous for his blackra1n jailbreak has mysteriously reappeared a claimed to have a jailbreak named limera1n which will be released October 11th, the day after GreenPois0n.

Well, that seems to have changed. Because it's out. Now. Whut. There's only a windows version available (that's why I'm frantically trying to get a tiny netbook working with my iPhone--I don't have my Windows lappy with me), but this is just... wow. I know, I'm excited about jailbreaking my iPhone, but geohot is really placing the jailbreak community into an odd place. Chronic Dev now has to decide whether to burn SHAtter, or try to implement limera1n. It's kind of insane. And it's making me doubt that GreenPois0n will come out tomorrow. Which means that, if limera1n doesn't work for me, I will be angry. Very angry.

A FEW MINUTES LATER: It's not working. And I'm angry. Because GreenPois0n may not be released because of this and that means that geohot just took my jailbreak away. I'm annoyed. There better be a jailbreak that works by 10-10-10 10:10:10.

EDIT: I do not recommend trying limera1n. I've been trying to jailbreak for a few hours now and my iPhone is now stuck in recovery mode and I can't get it out using iRecovery. So, basically, I'm screwed. Wait until tomorrow and see if Chronic Dev does anything awesome. Don't try limera1n. Geohot is an a-hole.

EDIT 2: Okay, I managed to get my iPhone out of recovery mode using a Mac and I'm not totally screwed anymore, but I'm still going to wait until tomorrow for news rather than try using limera1n anymore. I'm angry at you, @geohot.

EDIT 3: iPhone Dev Team has just made the announcement: They're not releasing GreenPois0n tomorrow. I, for one, am disappointed. Thanks, @geohot, I'm angry with you. That is, unless, I get home tomorrow to my Windows laptop and find that limera1n actually does work. That'd be great! :P

Hatkirby on October 9th, 2010 at 7:10:37pm
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It may be a week later than I hoped, but IT'S TOTALLY COMING! This Sunday is a very special day for people who are obsessed with repeating dates: This Sunday is October 10th 2010. As in, 10-10-10. And something else special will be happening on Sunday. At 10:10 10-10-10, THE IOS 4.1 JAILBREAK WILL BE RELEASED! I AM NOT SPECULATING, IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED! :D

Things have progressed to the point where we don't expect anymore roadblocks. ETA for greenpois0n is 10/10/10 at 10:10:10AM


FINALLY! :D I'm so excited, this is going to be great-tastic!

UPDATE: SHAtter will be for fourth generation iDevices only (a.k.a. iPhone 4 and iPod Touch fourth generation).

UPDATE 2: And it's definitely going to be untethered. This just keeps on getting better and better! :D

UPDATE 3: More info has come in! It appears that SHAtter is not technically untethered. However, Comex, the guy who brought us the awesome JailbreakMe jailbreak, has utilized one of his apparently large array of userland exploits to make GreenPois0n untethered. What this means is that on iOS 4.1, GreenPois0n will be untethered, but after Apple fixes the exploit, you'll only be able to get a tethered jailbreak. This isn't too bad, though! First, your fourth-generation iDevice is still jailbreakable for life. Second, Comex could possibly release another userland exploit if the current one is patched. Third, if you don't upgrade to anything above iOS 4.1, you'll be fine! :D

UPDATE 4: What is this? MORE NEWS! Not only is GreenPois0n going to be released on Sunday, but rumors AND CONFIMATIONS have come in saying that geohot, a hacker famous for the blackra1n jailbreak, has returned to the jailbreaking scene and is planning to release limera1n, a jailbreak based on a bootrom exploit completely unrelated to GreenPois0n's, on the day AFTER GreenPois0n is released. Most notable is the fact that limera1n should be able to jailbreak third generation iDevices (iPhone 3GS and iPod touch 3rd generation) that were left out in between redsn0w and GreenPois0n's jailbreak windows.

yes, the news about geohot is true, the day after we release ETA he decides he wants a piece of the #pie


and yes it is a different bootrom exploit, he wants us to use it in GP, but there's no way we'll make our ETA if we do


We are not changing our release date. If we can implement @geohots before 10/10 we will use that, otherwise we're using ours. #roadblocks


Image UPDATE 5: There's been a lot of controversy surrounding the suddenly announced limera1n jailbreak. The Chronic Dev Team, for one, are not amused. Specifically, they're pissed. The dilemma is that if GreenPois0n and limera1n are both released now, Apple will be able to fix both holes by the next generation of iDevice (or sooner :O) and two perfectly good bootrom exploits will have been "burned". The current state of things seems to be that Chronic Dev is trying to implement geohot's exploit as quickly as they can, but if they can't do it before tomorrow, they'll release GreenPois0n. This is mayhem! Depending on who you listen to, everyone's the bad guy, but apparently, geohot discovered his exploit months ago and was sitting on it until Chronic Dev announced an ETA for GreenPois0n. Some say that he thinks that SHAtter is better than limera1n and is trying to save it for later by forcing Chronic Dev to not release, some say that he's a a-hole who's just trying to get some publicity. However, his timing may actually just be coincidence--October 11th 2010 will be the one-year anniversary of his famous jailbreak blackra1n.

What's going to happen? Who the candy-cane knows? All I hope is that I'll be able to jailbreak my iPhone 4 tomorrow morning and that nothing will threaten my jailbreak-happiness.

Hatkirby on October 7th, 2010 at 5:59:38pm
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Another update on the iPhone jailbreak situation. Things are getting more exciting as the dev teams work on their jailbreak and we can now expect to see a release within days, not weeks. Yes, days. How do we know? Someone on Twitter asked a pod2g for an ETA (wow, no kidding), and actually got a response:

@Pod2G the release date be count by days or week ?


@asendari I would say days.


HOW EXCITING IS THAT? :D Of course, this doesn't guarantee that the release will be out soon, but I'm fairly hopeful for a SHAttering release this weekend. :)

The other thing I wanted to write about was the type of the jailbreak. If you didn't know, there are two types of jailbreak: tethered and untethered. Untethered is what you JailbreakMe folks are lucky enough to have; tethered, which seems to be more common, means that you have to jailbreak your iDevice every time you turn it on. Ouch. Anyway, as this jailbreak is not even out yet, we have no clue which type it will be, though some believe it will probably start out tethered. However, there is still hope. I did some poking around The iPhone Wiki (an official source for jailbreaking information) and found this gem:

Until Apple patches the bootrom in these things, (which is probably 5-6 months away...) their whole SHSH system becomes irrelevant and defeated (and lolz) because now the ramdisks can have all that SHSH+ECID crap patched out of them, allowing arbitrary downgrades all the way to 4.0 on a 4.1 (or later) out-of-the-box iPhone 4. But because Apple will eventually patch this, Saurik's SHSH system will always be important.


Don't get it? What this possibly means is that even if this jailbreak turns out to be tethered, you should be able to use the jailbreak to downgrade to iOS 4.0.1 and then use JailbreakMe there to get an untethered jailbreak! I asked about this on the discussion page and someone confirmed that this could indeed be possible. So, don't worry about the type of jailbreak this will be; you'll probably end up with an untethered jailbreak anyway. :D

Anyway, there has been a lot of plot advancement in the iPhone jailbreaking world in the last few weeks! Let's just hope that this jailbreak is finally released this weekend, which would totally be great. :P

Hatkirby on September 30th, 2010 at 3:06:59pm
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Good news for all of you who, like me, bought an iPhone 4 and received it pre-loaded with the unjailbreakable iOS 4.0.2: your suffering may soon be over. iOS 4.1, the first major update to iOS 4, is expected to be released today. Yes, today. Obviously, Apple has kept quiet about the release date, but two pieces of evidence clearly point to today as the final release date:

  • After iOS 4.1 was announced at last week's Apple Music Event, the Apple website was updated to include information about the upcoming iOS 4.1 update. However, for a few days, the British and French versions of the Apple website clearly stated "Coming September 8th", while the American one still said "Coming Soon". This has been fixed.
  • Apple releases beta and RC versions of it's iOS software for people with registered Developer iPhones and iPod touches to test out. However, another Apple goof has resulted in everyone being able to utilize the iOS 4.1 RC image, not just the developers. While this in itself is not indicative of an impending release, the fact that early this morning, the Game Center feature included in iOS 4.1 went live, is.

However good the chances seem that iOS 4.1 will be released today, though, it doesn't necessarily mean that the iOS 4.1 jailbreak will be as well. A series of misinformation from unreliable sources and contradicting confirmations from reliable sources has led to a lot of confusion about the upcoming jailbreak. One thing that we all seem to know for sure, however, is that the new jailbreak could take one of two forms: a userland jailbreak (like the JailbreakMe website jailbreak) or a bootrom jailbreak. A userland jailbreak, if a usable exploit was found, would be much easier to make and therefore would arrive faster. However, as seen with JailbreakMe and iOS 4.0.2, Apple can also patch them very easily. A bootrom jailbreak, conversely, would be a lot more difficult to create, but would be impossible for Apple to patch without releasing a new hardware device. The bootrom hole primarily used to jailbreak in the past was present in all iPhone 2Gs, iPhone 3Gs and iPod touches (first gen) and half of iPhone 3GSes and iPod touches (second gen) before Apple finally got around to patching it. A new bootrom jailbreak, if found, could be used to jailbreak iPhones and iPod touches for a long time to come.

However, that's where our definite knowledge ends. Many people suspect that Comex, the author of the JailbreakMe exploit, is going to be the one to provide the next jailbreak, and that seemed to be confirmed by iPhone hacker MuscleNerd:

@TechXero it'll be userland JB if @comex can pull trifecta.
Else, wait for new HW cycle (also remember: hole!=exploit)

However, Comex has very recently posted a tweet which may imply that this is not the case:

@ariif next jb might not come from me :D

Hopefully, if this is the case, it still means that a jailbreak will be ready for release very soon. Also, rumors have been making their way around the Internet that the iOS 4.1 jailbreak is already done and will likely be released today. While this would be a great outcome, it's fairly unlikely and we should all just cross our fingers that Comex is able to pull off "trifecta". :)

Lastly: while jailbreakers everywhere have informed several times that it would be unwise to update to iOS 4.1 without a jailbreak being available, those who are not yet jailbroken should at least give it a try. However, there is a chance, albeit small, that a new jailbreak might not work with iOS 4.1, instead relying on iOS 4.0.2. Even though this is incredibly unlikely, I suggest that you use TinyUmbrella to save your SHSH blobs (no jailbreak required) before upgrading to iOS 4.1 so that if this actually happens, you can safely go back to iOS 4.0.2. The newest version even includes the ability to prevent your baseband from being upgraded, for those of you who wish to unlock their phones, as the new baseband included with iOS 4.1 is not yet unlockable.

EDIT: It seems I forgot to post this post in the morning and now it is too late: iOS 4.1 is now out and more information about a jailbreak has been released. A hacker named "pod2g" apparently found a bootrom exploit (remember, hole doesn't equal exploit, but they definitely said "exploit", which means it's likely to work) just as Apple went public with the final release of iOS 4.1. The good news is that, yay, there will definitely be a jailbreak. The bad news? It might take a while.

In the mean time, I'm currently upgrading my iPhone 4 to iOS 4.1 because I have no jailbreak to lose and I can always go back to iOS 4.0.2 if need be. However, this will still probably not be necessary because the expected jailbreak is going to be a bootrom exploit. Regardless, let's all hope it comes out soon because I want my iPhone jailbreak! :P

Hatkirby on September 8th, 2010 at 3:25:51pm
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While I love my newly jailbroken iPod, I really do have to say that I think the word "jailbreak" was a poor choice for the process of opening up your iPod. To some people, the subword "jail" means that the process is illegal and bad things could possibly happen. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Jailbreaking is the name of a perfectly legal method of opening up your iPod so that you can run homebrew apps on it. I jailbroke my Wii last year and no one batted an eyelash, though I admittedly didn't call it "jailbreaking" at the time.

Basically, in this post, I want to run though exactly what jailbreaking is, what it isn't and why it might possibly have a bad reputation. This was sparked by the fact that a few days ago, when I told someone I knew that I jailbroke my iPod, he was astonished that I would do that. I asked him why and he said "Well, that means you get all the apps on the App Store for free!"


"Whut?" I spluttered. "That's not true."

"No, it is!" he yelled, "Jailbreaking is illegal!"

It turns out that his poor source of information was a friend of his that I wouldn't normally consider to be the most intelligent person ever. He apparently learned somewhere of a hack allowing you to pirate apps that utilized a jailbroken iPod and automatically assumed that that was what jailbreaking was. He also decided that jailbreaking was dangerous and could destroy your iPod after he, note, went into Settings and deleted all of his content. Manually. By himself. And he blamed it on the jailbreak.


Sure, I won't deny it, you could theoretically use a jailbroken iPod to pirate apps, but that's not what jailbreaking is for. To quote Wikipedia:

Some jailbreakers also attempt to pirate paid App Store applications. This focus has caused some strife within the jailbreaking community, as it was not the original focus of jailbreaking and is illegal.

iOS (Apple) on Wikipedia

Jailbreaking is not the act of pirating apps, it is the act of using a bug in Apple's software to install a third-party app. It's for those people who want to write iPhone apps but don't want to have to pay Apple $99 a year or those who want to write apps that do stuff outside of the official API (like the awesome Scrobbl (live scrobbling) or Backgrounder (true multitasking)).

Also, jailbreaking started out with a completely different use. Not many people know this, but when the iPhone first came out, there was no App Store. There was literally no way to get apps onto your iPod... other than jailbreaking it. And that's what jailbreaking is really for: getting apps onto your iPod. The only reason piracy got dragged into this is because jailbroken iPods allow for the installation of apps that haven't been approved by Apple, and could therefore do bad things. As stated earlier, piracy is not the intent of most jailbreakers and my brother's claim that "If you say 'jailbreak' to any American, they will think you are pirating apps" is a complete falsity. And not a true one, either. :P

The other reason that jailbreaking has a bad name is because there is one other illegal thing you can do with it: SIM unlocking, which is the act of allowing the iPhone to use another network besides AT&T. In America, AT&T has a monopoly on iPhones (which is technically the reason the iPhone was created--as a secret deal between Apple and AT&T) and using a network other than AT&T with your iPhone is not allowed. However, this is basically the extent of bad things you could do with a jailbroken iPod; Apple has even said that they will not attempt to break jailbroken apps other than ones that perform SIM unlocking. So you don't have to worry about anything; unless you are actually trying to do something illegal, your jailbroken iPod is protected.

Last thing: the claim that jailbreaking your iPod is dangerous is also untrue. I've had my jailbroken iPod for a week now and it's not a brick yet (though SpringBoard did crash once, but that was easily fixable by uninstalling an offending app). The claims that you can destroy your iPod while jailbreaking it are too unrealistic as most jailbreaking methods require you to install a new firmware on your iPod and iTunes will automatically make a backup of your device when you do that, so that you can restore to a working firmware if anything goes wrong. Also, with the new jailbreak that I pointed out last time (which is awesomely codenamed Star :P), the entire jailbreak is done on your iPod and has a very small chance of failure (though it is suggested that you backup your iPod with iTunes before jailbreaking anyway).

So there it is, folks. Jailbreaking is awesome and there is nothing wrong with it unless you are trying to make there be something wrong with it. I want to write Maze Of Life for the iPhone; is that wrong? No! Not at all. :) Incidentally, the original reason that I preferred a BlackBerry over an iPhone is the fact that you can easily write programs for the BlackBerry, but now with jailbreaking, you can do that for the iPhone too! Yay!

Also, I just wanted to point out that I am awesome and a trend-setter as after I jailbroke my iPod on Monday, TimTam followed suit. Drifty has jailbroken her iPod, as well as a few others', apparently. :P Jailbreaking for the win!

Hatkirby on August 8th, 2010 at 12:35:12pm
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Recently, I was going through some of my old stuff and I found this play I had written. Goodness, I must have been very young when I wrote that because it's very silly. However, some of it is stupidly hilarious, so I'm going to go through how sane I may or may not have been at that age by analyzing Kirby's Slippers, revision 3.

Kirby: Oh, today has been so boring. Nothing has happened. Voice: Hi, my name is Kirby's wall. That's Kirby. (Kirby leaves stage left)

Kirby's Living Room

Ok, what? Kirby's wall talks to him and he walks away as if nothing strange had happened? ....weird.

(Kirby says some random things and reappears up stage left in his PJ's) Kirby: I'm so tired. (ISAC Representative enters up stage right) ISAC Representative: Excuse me, but is there a Kirby in the house? Kirby (startled): Um, yes. I was just getting ready for bed.

Kirby's Living Room

So.... A random stranger, representing some random organization, walks into Kirby's obviously unlocked house and catches him getting ready for bed? That is just weird. Like, a lot.

ISAC Representative: I am from the ISAC. I was sent to tell you that the conference takes place tomorrow. Kirby (surprised): Uh, ok. ISAC Representative: The ISAC are great people and expect good behavior from you and the other person from Dreamland. See, the others are foreign. Kirby: Oh, great! I love foreign!

Kirby's Living Room

....what the negative? There are so many random things wrong with this that I'm not even going to bother.

ISAC Representative: Goodbye. (ISAC Representative leaves) Kirby: I need to go to bed. (Kirby trips on chair and tumbles over it) Kirby: Ouch! (Kirby leaves right stage)

Kirby's Living Room

Ok, that's the entirety of Scene 1, "Kirby's Living Room". I'd like to ask, A: How likely is it to trip over a chair? And B: Who on earth is Kirby talking to? The wall? ....actually, it could be possible, if you think about the first snippet....

Let's continue with the second scene, "King Dedede's House". It's a little longer, but there's only two snippets I'll be posting:

Kirby: Let's watch a movie! King Dedede: I'll get the candy! Kirby: I'll get the popcorn! (Kirby leaves stage left) (King Dedede leaves stage right) (Sound of getting things)

King Dedede's House

S-s-sound of getting things? ....I'm just going to.... um.... walk away.

All: Later.... King Dedede: Hey, come on! What's taking so long? Kirby: I'm getting my coat on, but it stuck to the dresser and now I'm wearing a dresser instead of a coat. (Kirby reappears left stage with coat on)

King Dedede's House


Ok, time for Scene 3, "ISAC Meeting House".

Kirby: Hurry up, we don't want to miss it! King Dedede: I'm only walking so slow because I brought all of the peanuts!

ISAC Meeting House this play and the other I found (maybe I'll post about it sometime), there are a lot of references to peanuts. I really don't know. Such as this one:

ISAC Representative: Hi, glad you could make it. Come right in. Kirby: I'm so hungry. King Dedede: Have a peanut. (Kirby & King Dedede sit down)

ISAC Meeting House

This next part is implying something strange....

(Lights turn off) Kirby: Aaaaah! The lights turned off! King Dedede: Look, I think I see someone over there! (Lights turn back on and Kirby's slippers are gone) King Dedede: Look! Someone stole your slippers! Kirby: OHNO!

ISAC Meeting House

Why does Kirby have his slippers at an international conference? I mean, really. And Captain Obvious to the rescue with Kirby's first line there.

ISAC Representative (talking into microphone): I guess the party's over. Maybe there will be another meeting next month. King Dedede: But at least there will be another one next month. But what if it's also short? And they need another next month? What if there is a chain of meetings all the way until December? Would they all add up to 1 annual meeting? But what if that one is too short for short? Is there are a never-ending chain of meetings when they are too short? I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain....

ISAC Meeting House

Oh dear, I've ripped off Spongebob. Next, let's examine Scene 4, "Church". There's only one snippet I find amusing:

(King Dedede enters) ISAC Representative: King Dedede! Come on here! Voice (softly): You may now kiss the bride. ISAC Representative: I love you.


Not only is he yelling during a wedding service, the ISAC Representative has spontaneously come out of the closet. This is getting pretty strange.

There is a quote or two from scenes 5 and 6, but they're mostly impulsive decisions and peanut quotes and this post is getting long. However, the play ends with Scene 7, "Creative Castle", and it rather amusing.

ISAC Representative: I just remembered! ISAC stands for International Stuffed Animal Conference!

Creative Castle

....not only have they been saying ISAC the entire play, he works there too and he only just remembers? However, this play ends with the funniest quote in the play:

Kirby: I want to take a vacation in Saudi Arabia! King Dedede: That's too far away. Kirby: So? I have airplane insurance. All: The End

Creative Castle

LOL. Literal lol.

Thank you for enduring my rant about my childhood and the randomness ensured. I've transcribed the entire script to HTML for easy viewing here: Kirby's Slippers v3. Have fun!

Hatkirby on December 22nd, 2008 at 12:33:05pm
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